I got temporarily diverted on some country roads on my way home from down south last night. I had a sleeping boy in the back. So I just drove. I never really mind being lost. It just gives me a chance to find new things. See beauty where I didn’t even know it existed. And honestly… I get lost on purpose sometimes.
There are lines as we go through life.
The ones you don’t know you have to cross until you get to that point. Until something happens and you have to reluctantly step over it, because you have no choice.
That line when your body grows so quickly but you don’t know if your a kid or a teenager. That line when you sit in front of a prospective employer, trying not to sweat, knowing you need the job because you’ve just crossed that line into adulthood…realizing that money does not in fact grow on trees. The line that appears to be pink, and it’s the line that makes you a mother… in that instant, you cross that line.
I had to cross another line in the last couple weeks. The line where my parents look to me for help. To be the voice of reason when needed. To help make life changing decisions. To cook a hearty meal. To answer phone calls. Calmly. To be that kind of grown up. The one that helps bear the burden.
My tiny family is in, for a better term, a holding pattern . There is just us. My little family, my parents, my brother and his little family, and my Aunt. My godmother. My mom’s heart. A person who has been a staple to me my whole life. She is struggling for her life right now. Unexpectedly. We sit and wait and wait. I never knew waiting could be so painful. We are small. And one of us not there creates a big hole. So love and light would be appreciated to help with that. I know this is a place she would look for information. She read my blog almost daily…. it was a way to keep us connected. Which is why I share this here.
I apologize if my correspondence is slow. (slower than normal!) I will answer, I promise. I am keeping all appointments I have and trying to make up for ones I have canceled. I just had to cross one of those adult lines unexpectedly….. as with all lines in life you cross….. you never really know when they are coming. And somedays… I get lost. I disappear on purpose….I’m just looking for something beautiful. I always find it.
Thinking of you and your family. This is a beautiful way to look at all of the places life takes you…sometimes down paths we don’t choose.