The Trip I Didn’t Take

My son and I stood on island number 3 with our luggage waiting for the shuttle bus to take us to the parking lot to our car. The same spot we had just left two hours prior. The sun was coming up and there was a sunrise that was really hard for either of us not to notice. We are both sunrise noticing people. And that day… he had his arm around me. Hugging me. And we both noticed the colors together.

And we stood there, hugging, at sunrise, with a little defeat in our hearts…. but mostly wanting to move on because we didn’t go on the adventure we were supposed to.

I’m writing this.. not out of pity

Not one tiny bit.

I’m writing because the information might help others. Truly.

I don’t get a lot of time with my son. Especially in the summer during baseball. It’s a sport, especially here where we live, that is not family inclusive. We all love it. But we all love it in our separate worlds. Player and spectator.

We had a bit of time to spare (just a few days) and we wanted a get away.

My son and I have always traveled. We wanted a trip. Domestic prices for traveling here in the states were astronomical. Flights, hotel…. everything was insanely high. I thought if I was going to pay astronomical prices… I might as well make it big. So I found a trip to Belize.

A four hour flight.

We have been to Belize. It was one of the easiest places I had ever traveled to.

I just hadn’t been there alone with my son.

We left at 3am for an 8am flight. We had all we thought we needed. Vax cards. Passports. Itineraries. Checked and rechecked.

We we arrived at the airport, at check in, and all of a sudden my kiosk starts blinking red.

The woman that helped me… was beautifully calm. She pulled up several pages of fine print I hadn’t seen.

“Do you have the letter from your husband?”

??????

I needed a letter from my husband, signed and notarized to travel with my son to this country. Saying that I had permission to do so.

It was no joke.

The poor woman looked at us… together… said…. “Cleary he’s your son…..” but……..

Three customer service representatives later….. I was rebooking my flight for the next morning so I could drive back 2 hours and get this taken care of and come back the next morning for the same flight.

I now have a letter. Copies of birth certificates. Marriage certificates. A family tree listing all my relatives back to Poland….. basically everything stating that my son is mine… and yes I have PERMISSION to travel with him and I’m not trying to snatch him. And a return ticket and $50 per day per person to be there. (another thing I HAD to have. )

2:30 am the next morning, we travel back to Denver. We’re both a little deflated.

On the parking shuttle to the airport….. we receive a notice our fight was delayed 2 hours.

Meaning we miss our connecting flight.

We walk straight to customer service. We don’t even get to the blinking kiosk. We are helped by the same lovely woman as the day before. She recognized us.

No flights that are less than 24 hours and don’t fly through Guatemala or Panama… and given the letter I’m holding to even fly with my child… I’m leary of that.

Needless to say, getting there would have left us with less than 24 hours of vacation. And who know what would have happened in between.

I turned to my son and asked “do you want to go?”

“Not really mom.. I’m sorry.”

“Me either”

We hugged.

And the pit in my stomach went away.

We left the airport into the sunrise. And went to the gas station and got all the shit we wanted to eat or drink. Because after all it was vacation.

We were not meant to go to Belize. That was the feeling in my stomach. Something or someone bigger was trying to tell me something. Two days in a row was enough for me.

And sometimes… even it sucks, you have to go with your gut.

On the quiet ride home… one of the only things I said was “how we react to this, says a lot about our character.”

I did not get angry.

I was sad. Defeated. But not mad.

And to be honest, I’ll probably remember that hug on the Island 3 at sunrise waiting for the shuttle more than anything this past summer.