A Crier

Seven years ago my life changed.

On Mother’s Day I found out I was going to be just that….a mother.

I feel like this past year has really taught me that this is really what I was suppose to be in life. Above all things. It’s not the only job I have. It’s one of many, but it is by far the most important and the one that if I had to, would give everything else up for.

I became I crier when my baby came along. It used to bother me to be so vunerable to my emotions. But as I get older, and as I’ve cried in front of almost every single person I know, I’ve come to accept it. But what surprises me, still to this day, is completely breaking down by just looking at my little boy. I have done that since the day he was born.  I tear up sometimes when I see him walking around with his blanket dragging behind him, because I know it won’t last much longer. I have to wipe my eyes when I see him swinging in the evening sunlight, because I know that won’t last much longer either. I cry when I get mad at him, because I don’t want to waste minutes on that emotion.  Regular daily things really get me, but I’m not ashamed, I at least know that I’m aware of what is happening around me.  I’m crier, and it’s OK.

He will get up at 6:00 in the morning just to surprise me for Mother’s day, and be completely disappointed that I was already awake, but he will get in the car and go get coffee with me in the fog. (daddy did too)  He snuggles in make-shift outside beds, and fall asleep just to wake up and carefully observe how the sun is shining through the leaves. He will play cards with me until the sun goes down on the same make shift bed.  He will agree to a few pictures in exchange for ice cream. He makes my days so full.

So, even it’s a job that brings me to tears often… it’s by far my favorite.