There’s a lot of advice out there for moms. Especially when they are tiny. Baby blogs, mommy blogs, parent magazines, mommy and me classes. But what about when you are now “mom” instead of “mommy.” Where is the advice about how to feel when you go from being the mommy to being mom and what to do with how that stings? And what to do with the fact that they need a “mom” not a “mommy.”
I am one of those lucky moms. My kid will still hold my hand. He will still hug me in front of all his friends and tell me he loves me. I know not all kids are like that and though this pre-teen of mine and I butt heads, we are so very proud of one another.
This stage he’s in, after about 7 years old, is different. They test waters. They test you. And every day you are preparing yourself and them a little bit more for the future. It seems far away… but it’s not. The next few years will fly by faster than Peter Pan to Neverland. But I will never wish for him to stay little forever. There’s too much to discover in the world as he gets older. All of the discoveries are just as good as the first time he felt grass on his feet or when he learned to ride a bike. Scary at first. But amazing in the end. I want to help him write his story. The best one he can. And I can only hope it’s full of adventure, mistakes, laughter, sadness, love and loss…. I can only hope he gets to feel it all and feel it passionately. Because it’s just one story, why not make it a good one? I want to let him struggle at times but I want him to know I am the loudest cheerleader. I won’t do the work for him, but I will push and pull and pick up if that’s what he needs. Because that’s my job as a mom.
And the mom job. It trumps all the other jobs.
I spend a lot of time with moms of brand new babies. And toddlers. I know I say this all the time and probably way to often, and I know that while you’re in the throughs of it all it seems so difficult…. but you will miss the time when they are little. You will, I promise. You will be hurt then they call you mom for the first time and when they don’t want to hold your hand and want to hang out in their room and listen to music you don’t love but don’t hate.
(The music…. I know I will miss that too someday)
Being a mom, mommy, mother… whatever stage you’re in, is hard. You have no idea what you’re doing. You can pretend you do, but truly, there isn’t one of us out there that really have a clue. But women have been moms, mommies, and mothers since the beginning of time…. soooo, I can do this. It doesn’t matter that I don’t know what I’m doing. I have no idea the extent to which I will mess up my kid (there is always an extent)…I need to be OK with that. I get paid nothing to be a mom. But I have always felt so rich because I get to be a mom. So to all the moms, mommies and mothers, whatever is going on in your life, whatever doubts you have, just the fact that you get to have one of those titles… makes you priceless.
I spent the morning, much like I normally do. Coffee, work, bath. But I got to spend the day in the mountains in Colorado, because he asked me to. All I was told the day before was that I needed to wear exercise clothes. He surprised me with a picnic lunch full of all my favorite junk food and sandwiches. And yellow roses for my desk.
And all I asked for was his time for the day. And one photo. The picture I liked most was an accident. And out of focus. The next frame was us being over it. I loved it nearly as much.
What a treat to have so much more
Neither of us were into pictures. He wasn’t feeling well, I wasn’t feeling it. But we got one of us together. That’s all that matters.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there. I hope you had an awesome day.