Ten Years Come and Go So Fast I Might as Well Been Dreaming

Ten years ago was the one and only day that I can remember sleeping in.  And by sleeping in, I mean I was still in bed, dead asleep at noon. Shortly after I got up and started to get ready. I was tanned, deep dark caribbean tan. I had perfect nail polish on. I put my makeup on. No more than I wore every other day. And I curled my long hair.  Put it up simply. And I put a dress on.

My wedding dress.

My big, full skirted, completely beaded with a two foot train wedding dress.

I had graduated from college two weeks earlier.  My soon to be husband and I had walked across the stage one right after the other. I had had a garage sale to sell all the “college” things I didn’t need to take on to the next stage of my life. I had packed everything else. I left the little place I had lived in by myself for three years. A place I had come to love and I would miss. A place I had made my own. And now I would be making a new place.  Our place.

This day…it was beautiful. I was calm all day. I don’t remember worrying about a single thing.  My dad walked me down the isle. He had to tell me to walk slower as I was too excited and going too fast. My husband cried during the ceremony. I nearly caught my veil on fire. Par for the course for me. Wouldn’t be my kind of wedding without a cinged veil. I danced all night with my friends. My Polish grandmother hugged me and told me that she had never seen so many people dance like wild animals. She loved it. I waltzed with my dad. My mom cried a lot….. something unexpected for me.  So did my big brother. Also unexpected.

Ten years later here I am sitting at a computer typing my story. Those ten years ago I had boycotted computers. “we don’t need one at home, that’s just ridiculous.”  Ten years later I am attending a graduation of preschool for my son. A son that was just a figment of my imagination. Ten years later I am living in an old house, the third we have owned.  Ten years later we are living a life I never dreamed I would be living, and ten years later I am loving that life.

Now I know, I’m pretty good and painting beautiful pictures of a beautiful life. But I will be the first to tell you….marriage doesn’t come easily without work. A lot of work.   A lot of patience and learning. Forgiveness. Honesty. Trial and error….and going with it.  Compromise. We have seen ups and downs. We have survived death and sickness around us. We have survived job changes, new jobs, new dreams. Disappointment. We have experienced family holidays, vacations, birth, divorce of people we love, lifestyle changes.   And at the end of the day we still kiss and hug each other goodnight. That’s an accomplishment if you ask me.

I had envisioned a different day for today. But, as I’ve learned, sometimes things don’t work out as planned. And that’s Ok. I woke up with my husband next to me. We ate Chinese. We kissed in the park. We supported each other today. We leaned on one another today.  The picture is not what I envisioned either. But this is how I look today. wrinkles. paint pants. hair a mess. no makeup…..and I know he loves me just the same.

10 years, Paul Simon